Can we talk tech-anxiety?

Jesus Christ it is such a real thing. And it’s all just dumb noise and frustration yeah? None of it is real. We have these brighter-than-life screens screaming at us to buy stuff at every turn. Making us think we need things that we don’t, that we’re not as well as we could be or that need to do things that we don’t. Why are we so lacking that we are not enough as we are?

I want to punch my laptop when those fucking authenticator pop-ups get in my way, you know those ones that are apparently meant to make our lives easier and safer, except that they ask us to jump through so many goddamn privacy hoops and identity screening ‘are-you-actually-a-human’ processes that have me pinwheeling in fucking circles of passwords and protection codes?!? Fuck you needing me to show you that I know what a bicycle is or a fire hydrant or a set of stairs, for fuck’s sake. That’s what makes me human?

I got so frustrated the other day because my phone told me I had to change my password, but I wasn’t allowed to reuse old passwords, and I wasn’t allowed to use this password because it wasn’t long enough, and I wasn’t allowed to use that password because it didn’t have any capital letters. Seriously it denied me so many times I ended up changing it to 1800Savemefromthispasswordhell. Then when it asked me what my password is I typed it wrong cos it’s so long and stupid and I just want to scream.

And what about those follow up emails from marketing because I bought a pair of shoes online recently, so now I have to unsubscribe from every goddamn marketing email address that they have, which is multiple by the way, because they know I’m trying to get away from them, but their sales team think if they hassle me enough I’ll stay in their mind and continue buying with them? Nah mate. You’re just pissing me off. Fuck you. It’s so easy to get caught up in too, because it seems like you can just quickly get it done, you know, just quickly deal with it right now, wherever I am and between whatever I’m doing. But then it all goes to shit, because it is never quick, usually not easy and now my kid wants my attention or someone at work is ringing or the train is arriving and I have to go. It always, ALWAYS takes longer than I want it to. Why is it never easy?

Then the frustration spills over and I think we are all getting way too oversensitive to whether it has worked or not. Whether the form has gone through correctly or not. If we have jumped through all the hoops or not, and if we’re not 125% sure, we try again and end up doing things three times over just to make sure.

At my casual job we send out texts the day before asking people to confirm their appointment. You would think that is an easy enough process yeah? Our text, in layperson’s terms, reads something along the lines of ‘hey, you have an appointment booked tomorrow at this time, will you be coming or not and if so, do you have any cold or flu like symptoms?’ We then ask patients to reply; Y for Yes, N for No and RESP if you have any respiratory symptoms, you know cos of covid and all that, in which case we’ll ask you to wear a mask. Simple right? No. Not simple. Boy oh boy do we cop an earful about it.

And I get it, the noise of tech gadgets entering into our personal sphere and interrupting what we’re doing is constant. I couldn’t tell you the number of times I have thought to do something, picked up my phone, seen a notification about something else, replied to that and then completely forgotten what it was that I wanted to do that had me picking up my phone in the first place. And while I understand that tech gadgets are made to be user friendly, but well, is that just a so often the case if you already know how to use it? (Or am I dangerously stepping into boomer complaints territory?)

Anyway, it is not uncommon for patients to send through two or three responses. Are we all so anxious that one reply will not suffice? Or if we send through one reply and don’t receive a confirmation of that reply instantly, that we feel we have to send another because oh no, what if the first one didn’t work?

The other day we received a reply from a patient, let’s call him Gary. (Don’t worry, that’s not his actual name.) So Gary sent through a reply of: ‘Y, N, N’. Right. ‘Yes, No, No?’ What does that mean Gary? Don’t worry though, he sent through another, which I totally get, you make a mistake and you need to clarify. (Probs sent it while running to the bus or something. Typos are so incredibly easy to do – and that’s even the case when I am giving it my full attention. And while I’m at it, auto-correct can fuck right off too. Do you know how many times I have signed off a message with ‘No’, instead of Jo. I mean come on. Of all the things I could fuck up, it’s one to cause quite a bit of confusion. ‘Hey Mum, yep I’ll be there. No.’ or ‘See you on Field 3 tonight for the game guys. No.’) Anyway, Gary’s second reply read: ‘Y, N, N, N’. Yes. No. No. No. Mmmmkay. Cool. Thanks Gary. Not heaps helpful. Op, not to worry, Gary just sent through a third reply – all within the space of 3 minutes I might add: Y, N, N, N, N. Gary. Stop. Just stop. (But I’ll assume the weight of 4 N’s vs just the one little Y means you’re leaning towards No?)

Another one I particularly liked was from, I dunno, let’s call him Dave. Dave replied: ’N’. Perfect. Thanks Dave. So we cancel his appointment. Easy peasy. Transaction done? No. Dave needed to clarify. His next reply: ’N, RESP’. Thanks Dave, we’ve already cancelled your appointment, no need to explain. Convo done? Nope. Third reply, just in case we missed the point: ’N, RESP, will have to reschedule, so very sorry’. We heard you the first time Dave and while we very much appreciate your polite manners, it’s too much.

How about this one from … let’s call her Annie shall we? Annie, curiously, replied: ‘Questioned “J”, J’. That’s a new one. Love that. The fuck does that mean Annie? J is equally close to Y and N on the keyboard, so I can’t guess which one you meant.

One my all time favs was from … shall we say Pete? Sure. Pete replied: ‘Y, Sarah, Mascot airport has been an economic benefit to all of Sydney since 1920, which inner Sydney has dealt with since that time.’ Good to know, thanks Pete, see you at your appointment tomorrow.

And then there are the ones that use this section as a consult in itself: ‘Yes, well it’s done but I don’t think they found anything of interest. The stenographer said she couldn’t give me any results but did say there are other tests that can be done if these results don’t give the doctor all the information needed.’ Well shit. I really just need a Yes or No answer my friend. But I am impressed with your lack of regard for the privacy of your healthcare.

Now these, on their own, are no big deal right? Mildly amusing but no harm done. Sure. Except that each doctor sees 15, 20, sometimes more than 20 patients per day and on any given day, we have 8, 9, sometimes 10 doctors on. That’s anywhere from 160-250 texts going out. Three responses per patient and suddenly we’re sifting through 600 replies everyday. Obviously it fluctuates because doctors go on holiday or are sick themselves and not everyone sends through three replies etc etc, but you get my point yeah? We’re all going to have nervous breakdowns fuelled by goddamn tech anxiety.

Entry 22 – Tech-anxiety

Can we talk tech-anxiety?