I swear I am audition fodder for a certain casting director. 

Or I’m just not that great of an actor … but, I am good enough to at least get asked to audition. They ask me to tape pretty regularly and I have never landed anything. No, that’s not quite true. The one thing they have given me was a 30-second, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it-bit part in my good friend’s show. Apart from that, nothing. Zilch. Nada. So I am pretty confident that I am their go-to audition fodder. 

I reckon they often want to provide the director (or producers) with one other option, so they ask me to do it, because they want someone whose work they don’t hate, but I think we all know that I am not actually going to get the job. I don’t have a profile see? I haven’t landed any jobs that help to build my profile nor have I sold myself on social media to build up my own profile. 

Insurance policy: I have absolutely nothing against those who have used social media to get a leg up. It’s really smart. Use what you can, when you can. I, on the other hand, am not smart. My pride gets in the way. I cringe at myself at even the thought of it. I got my eyelashes done the other day and I feel like a total imposter with them. I am just not a make-up-at-work kinda gal, but I keep getting home and needing to put down auditions, so I keep finding myself having to make myself up after work so that I don’t look completely devoid of life for the camera. So I thought I would get my lashes done and then I wouldn’t have to bother with the whole make-up rigmarole for a bit. I got a classic, natural look and the girl did a brilliant job. (Sonya at Sora Beauty in Erskineville for those wondering. She’s awesome. I was there for 2-hours. I lay down, passed the fuck out, then woke up with a new and improved face. Heaven.) But I’m still cringing at myself…and that’s just some minimalist fake eyelash extensions! 

So anyway, here I am with lovely imposter lashes and yet another email releasing me from the role of Jenny. But they pass on their biggest thanks for the tape and they’ll see me for the next one. Awesome. Thanks a lot. The good news is at least another audition has just come through, so my hope rises again. Up and down, up and down. At least I won’t have to do my make-up. Win-win!